Simple Plan Shut Up
645 Tips on How to tactfully explain to someone that they talk too much.
Today I will like to share 5 tips on how to tactfully explain to someone that they talk too much.
Tip # 1: Suggest that they speak professionally and get paid for it. Les Brown is a motivational speaker and for one speaking engagement he was paid $400,000 and had documents to back up his claims. Check him out at his site at http://www.lesbrown.com
Tip # 2: Suggest that since they are so full of information, maybe they would like to take some time and put it all in a book or several books. Let them visit this site: http://writeabooknow.comcmd.php/?af=739054
Tip # 3: Suggest they join a debate team or a speaking group. Check out this site at http://www.amazingpublicspeaking.com/ for more resources.
Tip # 4: Suggest that since I see that you like talking have you ever thought about hosting a talk or radio show. Visit this one to learn about radio shows: http://www.stylecareer.com/talkshow_host.shtml Although this may get them to start talking more just explain maybe you want to further take the time to research that now. Always direct their attention to something else or someone else.
Tip # 5: Suggest that with the gift of talking that maybe they would like to start a mentor program, teach Sunday School or learn to speak a foreign language. The Vaughan organization teaches English in Spain by inviting unpaid American or British volunteers to spend entire days conversing in English with Spanish business people at various locations. You get room and board. For more information check out this site at or go directly and check out the site at http://www.vaughantown.com/ What a talker needs to know and do is to be involved with something where they can express their gift. So your job is to direct their talking in an area where it's wanted.
Simple Plan Shut Up CommentsLoading...
LB,
GREAT ideas- my son has this issue- i have told him to start a web show...But we havnt been able to get the technical bugs out of the machine-
he is 12 going on 53 very opinion ated and has set up an office in the middle of our basement so watch out for talktimewith alex... sooner or later... oh boy!!!
th
Thanks Joseph for leaving a comment on my page. I try to put myself in somebody else's shoes and I know how I want to feel. So it's easy trying to help others. It doesn't take a lot for a person to make someone else feel better so I try to add to a person's life not add sorrow or take something from them.
You have a wonderful day too!
Nice Hub...I like the tactful way you redirect the use of their GIFT!
Have a nice day.
good hub
Hi Gabby_one,
Besides being you, YOU are special, unique and there's NOBODY ever who can replace you. If you're with someone and they can't CELEBRATE YOU or appreciate who you are, then you are better off without them. Don't feel bad for who God created you to be. You have a task assigned to you that nobody can fulfill like you can.
I had no experience with ADHD but I do recommend that you check out the websites below:
You can check out “The Total Transformation” it’s a program created by a behavioral therapist: http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/TheProgram.a
If you go to Authorsden.com and put in ADHD search you will see lots of topics: “ADHD: Curse or Gift?” Lots of letters, articles, medications, antisocial behavior, etc…
ADHD in the Young Child: Driven to Redirection (book) by
Bruce A Brunger
-The book describes proven techniques to effectively and positively manage ADHD behavior.
Maybe it has a resource page that can suggest other books for adults.
Natural Remedy for ADHD and Its Symptoms. Guaranteed Results. http://adhd-information.org/
Okay Gabby I hope this can lead to something that can help you.
Also, if there's a need, fill it. If you can't find what you're looking for, then maybe you are the one to fulfill that call. Maybe you are the one that will find the solution(s) that will help you as well as others. Something to think about.
Maybe you will have to be the one to write the book on behavioral modification that will help others with ADHD. You can always turn lemons into lemonade. Look for something good out of something that seems bad.
I hope this has been helpful.
Louise,
I appreciate your honesty about your talking & putting it to good use here. Like you, I am a first born child & I think that my excessive talking started in childhood. No one corrected me. It continued & became a nervous habit. Over the years, people have made jokes about it & called me Chatty Cathy or motor mouth. One friend once said "a little of you goes a long way". Some friends email me probaly to avoid talking on the phone. I do have close friends, but now as a divorced woman, it does affect my dating life. I recently met a man on 2 occasions in my singles group. He was attracted to my outgoing personality, sense of humor & confidence. We went out on 2 dates & I talked more than usual b/c I was nervous. By the 2nd date, I could tell that he wasn't interested. He admitted that he liked everything about me except for my excessive talking. I really liked this man & my talking problem got in the way of the possibility to get to know him better. At 51, it makes me sad that this continues to be a problem for me. I was also diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago & excessive talking is often one of the issues, as well as listening, which is also a problem for me at times. I didn't want to be on meds with bad side effects, so I just started taking an over the counter supplement "Attend" which helps with focus issues. However, I know from years of excessive talking, it will take much more to change that. Do you have any suggestions for books or behavioral modification to help curb this problem? I do want to be my outgoing self, but I don't want my talking to keep people out of my life.
gabby_one
Hi Marisue.
I'm one of those people lonely for conversations. I starve for useful and helpful information. Sometimes I'm self-absorbed because I love me. I learned a long time ago before I could love anybody else I have to love me first.
I constantly work on ME so that I can better help someone else. If I'm no good, then how can I be good for others. I try to bring something to the table, I'm a giver and love to share. If we keep working on US we both will be okay.
Sometimes I have to tell myself, Shut up only because my jaws starts to hurt. LOL
I am the oldest child of 7 so I guess I missed having older sisters and brothers, so I tend to connect with positive people. When people cross my path I look for what information do they have for me or what information I have for them. A win-win situation is what I try to create.
Anyway, I see I got in one of my talking moods. It doesn't take much to get me started. I guess you're saying what's all that got to do with your comments. I guess I'm one of those people that goes on and on.... (.:
Have a great day!
I agree....I'm always workin' on ME so i don't sound like THEM. ha
I don't like hurtful conversation either...nor those who go on and on -- but I do believe many people are lonely and others are self-absorbed...sometimes its the same...
kindness for differences goes a long way, still....I don't want to take them on to raise. haha
been there, done that. later.....Marisue =)
Hi Marisue,
Who's on third? Well, personally I don't do he say..she say. If she or he don't say it to me, then by the time it gets around to me it will be too twisted from the truth.
But yes that sounds too familiar. I like to take 6 months minding my business and 6 months leaving another person's business alone. With the things I'm trying to accomplish I don't have time for gossiping.
My talking is to inspire and not tear down. I know those people are in our circle, But I don't take the conversation out the circle. So they don't have to think it's ME.
That's cute...LOL!
Thanks for visiting my hub, Marisue
and then I said, .....and then he said.......but i told him...and then he said that i said.....and I did not say that i'm sure because she said I shouldn't say anything....
sound familiar? man we've all got those people in our circle. ys? and I sure hope they don't think it's ME. ;ahah oooo ya think? naaaa
marisue
Hi Sally,
Had a nice response for you earlier, but my computer shut down when I hit post comment. I took a break now I'm back. So let me try again, but I'll make it short with bulletin points.
*I'm guessing that some of the reasons why a talker acts the way they do, but none of these issues were my problems :
1. The talker could have been an only child and grew up talking to an imaginary friend who couldn't talk back. LOL! So now it's a habit of having a deep conversation without hearing the other person.
2. The talker could have been raised in a home that says a child should be seen and not heard. So when the talker turned grown, being quiet was not an option.
3. The talker has nobody to talk to, so every chance the talker gets to talk he or she never shuts up.
Now from experience what I know about me as a talker:
1. I'm excited and love to share. So I try to get everything out and 9 times out of 10 I'm thinking of the next thing to say, because I don't want to miss getting everything out. I tend to write too much too. Plus, I talk fast, because I want the person to catch everything before they walk away.
2. If talkers tend to be self-centric it's because when they talk it's usually from examples so they say "I" a lot. But talkers have to learn it's not all about them and learn to listen. Like all of us, we are great in some things, while we are lousy in other things. Some talkers listening skills are weak. Personally, it's hard for me to listen to an audio-book. I do not like lecture classes either. So like Annemaeve said, "we should beat some listening into them with large sticks." Listening is a skill that talkers have to practice doing. So be patience with us.
3. I have a lot of friends that talk more than me, so when I can't get a word in, I'll ask, Can I get a word in? Or I just flat out ask, Why are you talking so much? I really want to know so I wait for the answer. But they just stop and tell me to go ahead and talk. But it's not for long, because they'll be off and running again.
Thanks for dropping by and if you want to talk drop me a line.
Hi Annemaeve, Thank you for your nice comments. I'm glad to share some insight if I can. What does your pilot program consist of?
Patty, I have a cousin the same way, we either passed the phone around or don't even answer the phone because the caller Id shows his name. He goes on and on. It's mostly true what he's saying, but it never ends. I can cook, have another conversation, and this person never missed a beat. So in his case he's a preacher for sure. He just needs an outlet to express himself. So I don't get mad because I understands he's a talker. LOL!
You all have a great night! Thanks for stopping by.
Wow, LOL,,,,,,good hub!
Reminds me of the 'talkers' in my life, 2 family members (one now deceased). When the one would call the house, whoever answered the phone would say, 'so and so', it's for you, when it really wasn't, and when they would ask, 'who is it?' and I told them, they RAN out of the room,,,,,
Don't get me wrong, I love and loved them both dearly, but good grief! I always had to ask myself, do I really need to ask this person about this? If I do, I could plan on crocheting or reading a book while I held the phone to my ear and yessed them to death. And Sally, like your walking out of the romm and they're not noticing? neither did my talker realize I hadn't heard a word they said. And, if and when they came to visit, when it was time for them to leave, you could plan on another 30 minutes or so standing at the door saying 'good night'.
Very cute Anne,,,a pilot program! LOL
Did I ever say anything? no,,,,,I realized it wasn't an every day or even an every week occurrence, so I just bit my tongue.
Thanks for the hub!
Patty
Louise, thanks for the insightful and informative hub. Your suggestions are great in that you can be positive and friendly while (hopefully) getting your point across.
Sally, in reference to the individuals you're talking about, I think we should beat some listening into them with large sticks. I have a short list of people for our pilot program. :P
Nice hub. I kinda like the song approach, myself. Now, if I could just learn to sing it!
Unfortunately, there are talkers who are incapable of listening. Physiologically, there's nothing wrong with their hearing. But behaviorally, they are incapable of engaging in a give and take discourse. Rather, their speech is completely self-centric, they do not ask questions, they do not pause in their monologues, and they do not pick up on body language cues that the listener has something to say.
I don't know the cause of this behavior, but I have seen it on occasion, to the point where I've walked away and the talker didn't even notice, she just kept right on talking.
Any insights?
Hi Hoodala,
Thanks for your comments. Glad you stopped by.
You're Right! That's not the most constructive, but it all depends on who you're talking to. My family tells me to shut up sometimes. My husband used to put me on a ten-minute time limit. That wasn't fun, but I'm no longer with him either. But we have choices in life, we can be mean and don't care or we can treat others the way we want to be treated. So if you don't mind being told SHUT UP, SHUT UP then go right ahead and put it out there.
Be Blessed.
I kinda prefer the Simple Plan method....... Shut up shut up shut up don't wanna hear you!!!!! Maybe thats not the most constructive though.
Hi Wedding Consultant,
I wished that someone would have told me earlier in my life and that way I could have harness my gift sooner. If a person would offer something positive, then the reaction will be positive. But to say that I talk too much sounds negative. So if a person suggest a idea on how I can do what I love and get paid for doing it, then I would appreciate the comment.
Every tip that I suggested is something I'm doing or would love to do. If anybody knows a talker I'm pretty sure one of the tips if not all would be helpful to them.
Thanks for your request. If you curious about anything else, just ask me. I should have added another tip: Suggest that they start a writing column, Dear Louise
Have a great day!
louise thanks for the response hub. So you said you talk often...how do you think you would react to the comments you suggested in your hub? Just curious.
Thank you Bev, and you are my balance because you are a great listener. It's great having friends like you who can appreciate my gift of non-stop yada yada yada.
Peace and love,
You are a talker. But if you didn't talk, I wouldn't know that you are a wonderful friend, wise and giving. Information flows from you like a fountain. That is your gift and I am so glad you shared your gift with me. I look forward to reading all 50 books. Please, don't ever stop talking and sharing and listening.
Hi Commentonthis7,
I'm glad you like my hub. It takes all kinds to make the world balance. Besides, if everyone is talking who's listening. I'm very talkative. My mom bets I talk in my sleep, I'm told I do. But that's one reason why I write, because I was tired of people saying I talk too much. Now my goal is to write 50 books. LOL!
good hub i'm kinda quite i rather type
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Insearchofsilence 9 months ago
I live with a talker and im confused because he rarely has anything relevant to say. Its like he has to find every excuse to fill the silence and try to start a conversation especially when i am reading. He comes up to me while im reading and says "the lightbulb burned out in the laundry room so i changed it". I said "congratulations" and he stood there, scoffed, and stared at me before walking away. Its your house, your laundry, and your lightbulb. You fixed it so why should i care since u dont seem to care that im reading? I have already tried to explain to him that i dont like to talk as much as he does and id like to be left alone so why does he keep trying to ruin my quiet time? It happens so often that i avoid him when im home so he doesnt try to talk to me.